In addition to more daylight hours (always a cause for celebration), here's a few things I've been savouring:
* Beautiful ski day in Kananaskis last week. The weather was bright and quite warm for winter (between -5 and 0). There is great amount of snow there, and the mountains are almost totally white in places. Against the bright, clear blue sky, they made an absolutely stunning picture. The fresh air was energizing, the snow invited gliding and we enjoyed a good three hours on the trails.
* Finished Jennifer Homans Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet. For me this was one book in a hundred. I ate up every page. Homans is a history professor and a former ballerina. Her book is very well written and researched, and gives a comprehensive and entertaining look at how ballet developed over the centuries. But she's done something more than even that in her writing. Apollo's Angels wasn't just a book that I read, it was a book that I felt. I started dancing very young, and even though I didn't dance regularly after age 14 or so, I have the language of ballet in my body memory. When I started taking classes as an adult, I was surprised at how comfortable it felt to assume the positions again. I felt an immediate sense of peace and rightness. Reading Homans' book gave me a similar feeling: I felt like she took me to the places and cultures she described, and I could see them in my mind's eye and understand what they were about. I felt like I was reclaiming a piece of my heritage. I was slightly surprised I felt that way, because when I danced a child and watched ballets I really had no bigger picture understanding of ballet, and little awareness that I was being inducted into a tradition and culture. And yet I was, and now I can finally see those experiences in a new light, and appreciate them even more.
Homans ends her book on a melancholy note, questioning if ballet is relevant any longer and wondering if any visionary exists that can make it so in the 21st century. I had some odd feelings as a result of reading that. I wondered if I could or should have continued on with ballet as a professional. I almost regretted giving it up. Not for my own sake; I have no desire or need to be a ballerina on stage. But perhaps I might have done something good for ballet, if I had stuck with it. More likely I wouldn't have made any difference, but I don't know that for sure. I know a piece of the tradition lives in me, and is powerful, even though my exposure to ballet was very limited. If it were not so limited, might I have created something of value? I can never know. But I do know that I don't want to lose what I do have; I want to feel it and live it.
* Oh yes, January. January is over. Most of February too. Following up on this entry , January actually went by fairly smoothly, all things considered. My plans and arrangements, stressed as I was about them, worked out no problem. Not all of my work life was crazy and hectic; there were opportunities to breathe, take in the moment and even think a complete thought or two.
I took an excellent course in Therapeutic Crisis Intervention. TCI presents crisis as both danger and opportunity, and provides a system of thought and specific strategies to deal with both aspects. I thoroughly recommend it to all teachers, EAs, and anyone who works with children or young people. As a matter of fact, new teachers in Calgary are now expected to all take the course. (The dreary side of that is it is further evidence that dangerous behaviours are more and more common in schools and dealing with them is now basically part of teachers' job description. I do not like to dwell on where that trend might going, but the course was still extremely good.)
Partly because of the course, partly through conversations with colleagues, I was also able to do some bigger picture thinking about my work challenges. I realized my stress level in December/January was in a large part created by unclear priorities. Meaning that I had a couple of dozen things in mind that I thought I should be doing, could be doing, or would like to be doing, but I didn't understand which of those things were the most important. Or rather, I thought they were all important (and they are, depending on your point of view) . The notion that doing them all was quite impossible was frustrating, stressful, and infuriating. Once I decided on a clear priority for my group (learning social behaviours) and cleaned up the rest of the wish list a bit, I felt less overwhelmed. It doesn't change the fact things are still really, really busy, and there's always 20 things I should have done yesterday, but at least I can focus on what's most important. That will do for now.
* Music! has been so much fun lately. Both Blue and Silver Band are doing really well. I performed with both groups at the Alberta International Band Festival today. I was more excited about this festival than I have been about one before. Silver Band has achieved a high quality of music over the past few months, under the guidance of our director (who happens to be the same person who first taught me music and one of my favourite people ever). Blue band is also playing some exciting music. I am part of the percussion section in this group, which means I play different instruments in every song: there's always something new to learn. Recent highlights include learning to play side by side snare drum with another lady, and playing four different instruments in succession in one piece (including the gong).
* I continue to knit like a busy spider and am on the second pair of colourful legwarmers.
So, things look good going into spring. And in the short term, I look forward to a peaceful evening in our cozy loving home. :-) Baby, it's cold outside, and there's no need to go out there.
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